Fear
by Ali5
Summary: Dark Isabel POV about Vilandra


Title:Fear   
Author: Ali  
Email: RoswellianGrl22@aol.com  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters  
Distribution: Please Ask  
Summary: Short Isabel POV on Vilandra  
Feedback: Yes PLEASE!!  
Authors Note:Here is my take on what Isabel may think or believe about Vilandra, please be aware this is the DARKEST fic I've ever written!  
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Who is this other person inside of me?   
  
Vilandra.  
  
Isabel. Isabel Evans is who I am, yet deep inside I feel her, Betrayl, Lies, Lust.  
  
I am not that person.  
  
Have I betrayed my brother? Have I become his enemy?  
  
Max.  
  
He barely talks to me anymore, and the looks he gives me makes me want to just end my life. This is not suppose to happen, I'm Isabel evans, the Fucking good girl, the one everyones suppose to love.  
  
*********  
  
Sometimes the silence scares me.  
  
No one speaks.  
  
Dinners have become silent dinners, no words to speak, no news to tell.  
  
Oblivion.  
  
I'm slowly sinking into my own oblivion and no way to get out, no one who will rescue me. What do I result to? Who the fuck am I?   
  
In my own oblivion.  
  
I am silently bleeding to death, screaming for help yet no ones comes, I am all alone.  
  
**********  
Extreme rage I feel inside my body To whom does it belong? Vilandra?  
  
Images. Recollection. Nothing I see nothing, I hear nothing, where is this other life, I supposivly have lived? Why would I betray my brother? My planet?  
  
I am no sadist, I don't want to watch others suffer in pain, I don't want to hurt.  
  
My parents had actually suggested some therapy, nothing works anymore, It's too late.  
  
*************  
  
I frighten myself, I don't know who I am where I came from and what I may become..... and I don't want history to repeat itself.  
  
No Lies.  
  
No Betrayls.  
  
Gone. I'm gone and nowhere to be found, I need the love I once had, I need the family I once had, but it's gone they're gone, my life is an endless pit of depression, and rage, to whom it's from, I don't know.  
  
I need to be home, to feel some kind of purpose, that left me a while ago, but where is my true home? Where do I belong. Where is my home?  
  
************  
  
My sanctuary. I silently walk to my room, and close the door behind.  
  
The mirror, displays my disturbing reflection, my hair is a mess, my eyes are bloodshoot, cheeks damp from crying. Questions. So many fucking questions I can not take anymore, so many looks, my mind can't take it anymore, I'm totally losing it, where has Isabel gone? I was once a sweet little angel, the popular one, the one who everyone loved, and envied, now they look away in fear. Fear of what I've become.  
  
Fear. I am drowning in my own fear, of whats to become of me, where I'm to go. I need to reach the shallow end of the pool, but my legs don't want me to move, I'm stuck, back into Oblivion.   
  
I am unstable, I can't even stand to look ay my own damn reflection, all I see is a big mess, thats too big to clean up.  
  
Crying, thats all I can do is cry, if only I knew what to do, but crying doesn't help anymore, it's makes me too vulnerable, but the tears don't stop, they won't ever stop.  
  
I can't take it anymore, as I stare back up at my reflection, my eyes are empty, and she is there. I raise my fists and start pounding on the mirror, banging the mirror, unitl it shatteres into many pieces, and I sob as I sink to my knees and look down at my hands.  
  
Cuts.   
  
Deep cuts.   
  
The pain.   
  
No. It's not me, this is not who I am, The tears still pour down my cheeks, as I observed what I've done, this is not me, I've turned into a monster.  
  
Vilandra, is slowly taking over my body, and my life, my identity.  
  
I need to feel grounded, but I'm not walking on solid ground, its shattering apart.  
  
Is this what is becoming of my life? fear? Tears, pain?  
  
Who knows what is to become of Isabel but I know one thing  
  
I am petrified of Vilandra..........  
  
END  



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